Arm muscles

Bar goers are advised that drinking beer is the perfect opportunity for building up arm muscle strength. Simply order larger beers for extra weight and simultaneously lift both glasses to the mouth. Repeat six times until your 'weights' are empty. Order more and repeat until floor raises up to meet face.

Leg muscles

A good sprint once in a while is useful for the building up of the legs. To obtain a good sprinting partner pose for a photo with a ladyboy on Soi Bangla, then make as if to leave without paying the usual 100 baht rate.

The ensuing chase results in an excellent lower body workout and strengthens the legs. Always remember to stretch afterward as this exercise can be strenuous. And dangerous.

The heart

A vigorous cardio vascular workout is not hard to find in Phuket. Halt any passing tuk-tuk and ask the driver how much it is to Phuket International Airport. The answer is guaranteed to get the blood pumping through your veins faster than a Phang Nga waterfall in rainy season. It is not recommended to repeat this exercise too often.

Nervous system

To hone your motor skills to the optimum watch for a space in the one-way Patong traffic system and try to cross the road. The combination of speed, anticipatory-and-dodging skills is a wonderful stimulus for the nervous system. Award yourself a healthy drink on the other side of the road… if you make it.

Stamina building

Both western and eastern doctors agree; walking is good for building up stamina. For a good healthy walk ride a motorcycle helmetless around southern Patong until you encounter a police checkpoint. Your motorcycle keys will then be confiscated and you will have to walk all the way to the police station at the bottom of Patong Hill to pay off the fine and then walk back to reclaim your bike. Great for building up staying power, getting some fresh air and learning about Thai traffic laws.

Ping Pong and darts

Not many people realise that some of the sois or alleys off Bangla Road are home to a veritable host of Ping Pong and darts enthusiasts. Simply enter one of the bars advertising 'Shows' and you'll see some of the most interesting projectile techniques in the history of these sports. Not for children.