WHERE IS IT?

On Soi Wattana – the soi between Holiday Inn and Ban Thai hotels on Patong’s Beach Road. Look out for the KFC sign and turn down the soi – Sea Hag is roughly 250 metres on the right. As for parking, you’ll have to cruise a little and look for a space on the left-hand side of the one-way Beach Road as Soi Wattana is traffic free, except for motorcycles and three-wheelers, that is. The problem is that the aggressive one-way traffic can sweep you past your destination against your wishes, meaning a long walk back to Soi Wattana, so be watchful for that parking space as soon as you hit the Beach Road. View The Sea Hag location map.

DÉCOR

Stylish and atmospheric. There’s no doubt that Khun Kenya has taste and it is fortunate for us that he displays it in public. Sea Hag features framed prayer mats in glass, a huge mirror and a plethora of fifties/sixties-era Hollywood (male) black-and-white star portrait photos. Upstairs is equally tasteful, giving the bistro/restaurant a genuine continental feel.

ATMOSPHERE

It says something about tolerate Thailand that a gay place would be frequented – as Sea Hag is – by visiting families, couples and even singles, of course as well as gay couples. Sure, the place sports a pretty obvious gay vibe with a lot of lispy accents and air-kissing going around but most straight people wouldn’t object to this; especially not in Patong, where anything goes, as long as it doesn’t scare the horses. The restaurant’s background music is good, the lighting is right and there are three separate areas to choose from: al fresco on a small terrace, inside downstairs, and upstairs (both air-conditioned). In a town where atmosphere and décor are largely ignored in favour of quick profit, Khun Kenya has succeeded in his desire to get things right.

WINE

On the sometimes comically spelt wine list (“white wime”) there are 13 labels to choose from – although the French labels don’t move as quickly as the New World (Chilean and Australian) wines do, according to the owner. Labels cost from 1,200 to 1,800 baht a bottle and glasses generally go for about 130 baht. Beer is a little expensive with major brands going for 90 baht for a small bottle. Cocktails are priced at 120 baht and Thai spirits are 90 baht. Maybe it’s best to stick to wine.

FOOD

The restaurant’s canny cuisine, rather than the tasteful atmosphere and décor, the gay vibe and the enthusiasm of its owner, is why people come to Sea Hag. The usual suspect dishes are here – steamed lemon fish with rice – an army of seafood recipes, fantastically huge tiger prawns with different dipping sauces and chicken, beef and pork sate starters and they are all done with panache and commitment. It cannot be stated too often that Sea Hag is effortlessly above its immediate competition and that there is true value for money in eating out here. On observation, most diners stay for about 40 minutes, choosing one or two dishes, but it’s really best to linger and enjoy things a little longer with a good Chilean or Ozzie wine and a broad selection of food. Inside smoking is prohibited but there is a terrace where one can people watch and puff away. Enjoy.

SERVICE

Pretty brusque, but with large dollops of humour. Obviously, the doyen of the place is Khun Kenya but there are also some real characters among the staff members. The level of spoken English at Sea Hag is probably a lot higher than most Patong eateries so there’s an easy element of fun in eating here. Along with the décor and atmosphere, the garlic sauces and the wine, the service really does remind one of a continental bistro.